Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
