Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
