Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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