hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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