I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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