road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
