I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
