Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it because I queefed?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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