Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
