Got a toothbrush?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
