He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize