I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
