This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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