and you said cock pushups were impossible
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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