Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
