it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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