I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
