I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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