theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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