It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
