I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
