Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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