Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
