We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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