he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
