Dual....:-)
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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