Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
