My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
