so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
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I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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