I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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