My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
