I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize