Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
