Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
