just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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