I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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