I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
