how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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