so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I looked at my own cervix.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
