My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
