What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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