just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
