Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
