Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
