i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
