I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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