Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.