ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday