I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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