she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
