your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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