i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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