if only i could text you this smell
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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