i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
