Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize