So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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