I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's always time for handjobs
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
