Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
