quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
