If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
