where am i from again
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
