Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
