All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
