We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
