Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
