I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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