.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
