I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you inspire me to be a worse person
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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