I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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