Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
