I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize