Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
